Saturday 22 September 2012

Toddlers and Viruses

I took Joseph to toddler play group for the first time last week.
You know things are off to a shaky start when the first thing that happens is that a woman who I'm pretty sure I've never met before says "Is he yours?" in quite a shocked tone as I walk through the door. Not "Is that your little boy?" or "I didn't know you'd had a little one, how old is he?" but a shocked sentence with the stress on the worst two words, giving me the impression that the idea of me having a child is somehow shocking and a bit wrong.
I could have replied "Well no, but you need a toddler to come in here so I just grabbed one wandering around outside." but my brain wasn't coping too well and I simply said "Yes?" with such a puzzled tone in my voice that she replied "Oh well, it's a while since I've seen you."
I still don't know who they are! I've been twice now and I don't know why she thought she knew me, she's not spoken to me since.
Joseph found the push along cars and got in one and wouldn't get out. He remained in the car for the best part of an hour, only wanting to come out to try a different car. When it was drink and biscuit time I took him out to join in and the mother of all tantrums kicked off. I thought he'd be happy with a snack, but he waited until I'd got myself a cup of tea and a piece of cake to manage before really kicking off. You can't handle a stroppy toddler when you've got a hot beverage in one hand. I tried balancing my cake plate on the mug and dealing with him with one hand, but it was no use. Back in the car he went and he did not stir.
I have to confess to feeling a little wobbly at this point. I crouched down by the car, sipping my tea and utterly mortified by my sons terrible behaviour. He used to be so good in public, and now I feel like I'm being judged by every woman in the room as having the worst son in the world. Uh-oh panic attack.
Remember to breathe, it's not all that bad! Mortified I may be and a terror my son may be but there's no sense making it worse by totally freaking out in the middle of the room. Breathe! Drink the nice cup of tea... ah that's better. Right you young terror, it's time to tidy up and we're going home.
A few days later I went to bed and from the door to the bedroom I could hear a funny sound. It was as if someone had taken my cute little boy and replaced him with a grumpy rottwieler. The cot was full of snorts and growls.
This means three things - Joseph has a head cold, he's going to be keeping us up all night for days on end and just when you think it can't get any worse I'll catch it.
Poor little mite, he was really snotty and uncomfortable and he had a cough that had me worried. The magic of calpol did help, but we were still regularly woken up and in the end we took it in turns to sleep downstairs on the sofa bed so only one of us was disrupted at a time. I went to work feeling quite spaced and high on caffeine, probably not making a lot of sense to anyone. Someone did have a go at me for not answering a summons to the tills. I don't remember hearing it, though I am told it was quite audible. I must have been zoned out at the time, probably as a result of lack of sleep.
He's on the mend now and well enough that I risked another attempt at the toddler group. There's no point letting anxiety get the better of me, for Josephs sake I must persevere and the cake's pretty good as well. I don't seem to have caught the cold in the end, although I've been a little sniffly. It must be the super-immunity I developed when I caught swine flu a few years ago. Don't laugh, it's a known scientific effect. I've caught a lot less colds since I had that.
He went straight for the car again. Here we go again, I decided. At least he hasn't worked out how to make it move about so I can sit down for a bit.
After half an hour he wanted to get out! He tried another car, got bored and started looking at other toys. I was shocked, but happy. He played with a toy farm, handed random toys to people he'd never met before and sat down quietly for a biscuit and a drink with the other children and he didn't even try and steal anyone elses biscuit which is usually his trick. I had a cup of tea and a nice piece of chocolate cake without any problems at all to disturb me. We tidied up, sang some songs and Joseph had a good run around and didn't want to leave.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, toddlers! They get you all wound up and then unexpectedly release the pressure. Or they lull you into a false sense of security and then kick off big time at the most important event of the year, like when the Queen is about to shake your hand! Have you SEEN the film 'Parenthood'. Every potential parent should, BEFORE conceiving!!

    ReplyDelete